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Ashley Stock

Influenserki umrla kćerka (3), šest sedmica od prvih simptoma

31/05/2020

Ashley i njen muž Ben imaju i dvojicu sinova, Wesleyja (10) i Sawyera (7)

Kćerka Instagram influenserke Ashley Stock preminula je samo šest sedmica nakon što ju je dovela u bolnicu zbog “naglog opadanja motornih funkcija”.

“Stevie Lynn je posljednji put udahnula u našim rukama. Bilo je mnogo čuda i bezbroj božijih momenata koje ću pretvoriti u riječi kad moje srce bude imalo snage. Trenutno sam preplavljena osjećajem olakšanja što je ona konačno u miru, ali sam skrhana tako jakim bolom, koji ne mogu da opišem. Ispuštam ga pomalo, kao kada nježno odvrćete čep sa flaše sode… Oslobađate se pritiska pomalo, da ne biste eksplodirali. Valjda je to tako. Lagano okrećem poklopac na svojoj tuzi. Jer ako pustim sve odjednom, ne vidim kako bih uopšte mogla da preživim”, podijelila je Ashley sa svojim pratiocima.

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🌟Stevie Lynn Stock 🌟 3 years old. Seed Planter. Miracle Maker. Light Giver. Heart Healer. Blue eyed, dimpled smile, curly haired forever baby girl. Adored little sister, daughter and friend. At 1:05pm on May 27th, Stevie took her final breath in our arms. There have been many miracles and countless God moments that I’ll put into words when my heart has strength. For now, I’m overwhelmed with relief that she’s at peace but I’m also feeling crushed by a pain so intense i can’t put it into words. I let it out a bit at a time, like when you gently twist the lid off a liter soda bottle…releasing the built up pressure a little at a time to keep it from exploding all over the place. I guess it’s like that. I’m twisting the lid on my grief gently. Because if i release it all at once, i don’t see how i could possibly survive. Gentleness has been my most effective approach on grief these last months, gentleness for myself and for all the beloved mourners by my side. We have complete faith in there being a greater purpose of this tragedy (and it’s already unfolding through your stories of renewed hope), but unfortunately, faith is not a “get out of pain free” card, and that’s okay. I don’t know how to do this, so for now we’ll continue one day at a time held by the grace of God, the support of loved ones and the prayers of strangers who have become friends. #stevielynnstock #dipg #starsforstevie

Objavu dijeli Ashley Stock (@littlemissmomma)

Trogodišnju Stevie Lynn Stock je Ashley u aprilu dovela u dječiju bolnicu u Los Anđelesu, pošto je primijetila “naglo opadanje motornih funkcija”. Ispostavilo se da je u pitanju rijedak tumor na mozgu (Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma), sa gotovo nikakvom šansom da preživi. Zapravo, procenat preživljavanja ove opake bolesti je nula posto, a procjene su da oboljeli od postavljanja dijagnoze može da preživi najviše devet mjeseci.

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“This is my life now”. That sentence plays in my head several times daily. Sometimes i catch myself whispering it out loud. I still can’t tell if I’m phrasing it as a question or a mantra. Perhaps both. I suppose it depends on the moment. Because there are definitely times when I’m wading in peace about the new path the Lord has placed before us. But then, there are the mornings…when i wake up, and for a split second, i think this could all be a terrible nightmare and I’ll get out of bed and walk back into the life i signed up for. Then reality hits my like a punch to the gut. A lump forms in my throat and it becomes hard to swallow. Suddenly I’m torn between going back to sleep to stop the pain or rushing to scoop up my baby girl and soak up every single moment with her. I’m choosing the moments over the sleep. I can sleep later. I can breakdown later. For now, I trace the invisible line from the middle of her forehead down to the tip of her nose with my finger at least a hundred times a day. I’m memorizing the way her features relax with my touch. I’m saying silent prayers that i never forget the way her skin feels on mine. I’m smelling her salty hair and her sticky neck and her sweet little toes and wishing there was a way to bottle her scent up forever. I gently tickle her belly button and massage her head and tell her constantly that she is safe, she is loved, she is perfect, she makes me happy and I’m so proud of her. 📷: @michellebeller

Objavu dijeli Ashley Stock (@littlemissmomma)

Mala Stevie nije uspjela ni dva.

“Slomljeni smo. Uništeni. Nekako moje tijelo i dalje proizvodi suze i plakanje je postalo moje jedino oslobađanje… Ostatak sedmice provešćemo u bolnici da bismo se upoznali s tretmanima koji će joj ostatak života učiniti lakšim. Onda ćemo otići kući, gdje će moći da bude sa svojom braćom i kucama, i gdje ćemo voljeti našu slatku djevojčicu i oporaviti se kao porodica… Predali smo se pred njenim prognozama i nečim što ne možemo da kontrolišemo. Daćemo sve od sebe da bude srećna i bez bolova i naučiti da posljednje uspomene učinimo lijepim, onim kojih ćemo se držati i voljeti ih, uspomenama koje će nas navesti da se nasmiješimo, iako kroz suze”, napisala je Ashley tada.

Ashley i njen muž Ben imaju i dvojicu sinova, Wesleyja (10) i Sawyera (7).

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